I would like to discuss my point of view as a woman with children. I feel as a parent, it is my personal obligation to provide for my children regardless of the other parent. I’m not saying this to give absent parents an excuse not to take responsibility as a parent.

There is a root cause to all of this “drama”. That is a topic I would like to address later. My first thoughts are “How could two people that can’t get along share children?”? I’m not going to go to deep into that this conversation. Feel free to read my post “Correcting Relationships Abnormalities in Forming Relationship’s” (linked in below) where I touch more on that subject. Also, I’ve linked an article based on single parenting, in addition to a YouTube video related to this topic.

How Did We Get To This Point?

Responsibility is owning one’s actions. With adulthood comes great responsibilities. In USA once you become 18 years of age you are legally, by “American Standard”, able to live on your own. Before you are at legal age, you possess a mind capable of making decisions. Some people make decisions based on repetitiveness, cultural, and peer pressure.

It’s A Mutual Fault

When two people lay down and make children, they should know, love and care for each other. This sounds like the most logical, possible way to create a life. Since the creation of USA, that wasn’t always the case. African Americans were stripped of their identities and forced into profitable breeding. Fast forward, the breeding farms where abolished with the slave trade. African American people were not so much as “freed”, but culturally lost. They were homeless, separated and in a foreign country. Most people had already lost their families during the trade days.

Today we are products of our early American ancestors. Families are portrayed on television as perfect and always 2 parent households. We can see, in reality, that’s rarely the case. In urban cultures there are single mother’s and father’s. Neither parent is more obligated to raise a child, they both are equally responsible. Unfortunately, social media has shown us, baby mama and baby daddy drama is a trending topic.

Rationale

Learn to focus all of your attention on the most important person in the equation, (your child) you wouldn’t have time for anything negative. You should keep busy focusing on what you need to provide for your child(ren). In fact if people spent more time focusing on their children and bettering themselves, they would see better positive outcome’s.

Multiple Baby Daddies Can Make You Poor

Forbes.com

Compromise

Learning to compromise is key to being a parent. If you have multiple children by multiple partners, that you cannot provide for, consider the factors. At some point you have to decide the adult choice to make. You need to regain focus of what’s important in your life. You possibly may need to see someone professional. There could be an underlying problem that’s embedded into your mental.

https://youtu.be/z3setYT9WyA

I live in a generation, (80s/90s) where most women never had a guy buy her flowers or gifts. Most urban people won’t go on dates without expecting to get/give something return.

Dating has always been a broad category. Some people consider dating as hanging out. In urban communities dating is mostly associated with sleeping together. Sexual attachments are being confused with relationships. Sex is being used as the determining factor instead of actually loving that person. This usually is how love is perceived to the male. The female usually gains emotional attachments and insecurities. If this weren’t true, the term, “toxic”, wouldn’t exist.

If a woman is known to have had many sexual partner’s, she is considered less desirable. The same men who wanted sex from the already low self esteemed woman, will feel that she was too easy. Instead of the woman correcting herself for better suitors in future, she starts making decisions based on insecurities. Instead of taking time to heal, she submits more easier. She feels her worth has depreciated. Along with the baggage of multiple children and emotional damages, she is more vulnerable to lesser status men.

I’m not blaming anyone, but once again it’s a cycle. We need to find a way to un-program our minds of stereotypical behaviors. Make sure your son’s understands courtships towards women. Teach your daughter’s to know their worth. Normalize building healthier relationships for the future.

Raise tribal not rivals.

Here are some government files to furthermore explain my thoughts.