Correcting Abnormalities in Forming Relationships

I live in a generation, (80s/90s) where most women never had a guy buy her flowers or gifts. Most urban people won’t go on dates without expecting to get/give something return.

Dating has always been a broad category. Some people consider dating as hanging out. In urban communities dating is mostly associated with sleeping together. Sexual attachments are being confused with relationships. Sex is being used as the determining factor instead of actually loving that person. This usually is how love is perceived to the male. The female usually gains emotional attachments and insecurities. If this weren’t true, the term, “toxic”, wouldn’t exist.

If a woman is known to have had many sexual partner’s, she is considered less desirable. The same men who wanted sex from the already low self esteemed woman, will feel that she was too easy. Instead of the woman correcting herself for better suitors in future, she starts making decisions based on insecurities. Instead of taking time to heal, she submits more easier. She feels her worth has depreciated. Along with the baggage of multiple children and emotional damages, she is more vulnerable to lesser status men.

I’m not blaming anyone, but once again it’s a cycle. We need to find a way to un-program our minds of stereotypical behaviors. Make sure your son’s understands courtships towards women. Teach your daughter’s to know their worth. Normalize building healthier relationships for the future.

Raise tribal not rivals.

Here are some government files to furthermore explain my thoughts.

Conventions of Courtship: Gender and Race Differences in the Significance of Dating Rituals

Pamela Braboy Jackson, Sibyl Kleiner, Claudia Geist, and Kara Cebulko

Dating, Living Together, and Courtship Violence

J. Makepeace
NCJ Number:
118352